Fountain Valley News - Your Hometown Community Newspaper

Christmas trees are like a distant cousin. They come to your house, surround themselves with presents, and stay a month. Then they begin to shed, and need somebody to drive them off. People often do strange things with cut trees.... — Updated 11/29/2022

If you grew up in the 1950s through 1970s, television westerns introduced you to a thankless career. Here’s the job description. You work for a cowboy who travels constantly and appears to have no source of income. You don’t de... — Updated 10/11/2022

Many male friends tell me, “I am losing my hair. What can I do about it?” I suggest they do what I did… get rid of your mirror. But seriously, I understand their plight. I still shed mountains of hair daily, much of it from... — Updated 9/27/2022

As I get older, I try to learn something every day. That’s not always possible, because some days I just watch reruns. I’m not alone in this mission. My friend Lucas spent months trying to read deeper meanings into old nursery... — Updated 9/20/2022

Here’s a great question from a Texas reader: “Why is the pizza round, the box square, and the slices cut into triangles?” This is a complicated question for me. In school, I had so much trouble with geometry they put me in a... — Updated 9/6/2022

Throughout the ages, our forefathers – and foremothers too – have been told that certain things bring bad luck. As a kid, I always heard “If you step on a crack, you’ll break your mother’s back.” I’m relieved to repor... — Updated 8/30/2022

I don’t sleep as much as I used to. Why? I watch television well past ten p.m. And after my mid-evening nap (about one hour), I can cruise show choices into the wee hours. I told my younger neighbor that when I had a child, I cou... — Updated 8/9/2022

I just got back from a family reunion. I enjoyed seeing distant cousins whose names I couldn’t remember. I just called them all “cuz.” They called me the same thing, and we had a great time discussing things we’d done toget... — Updated 6/28/2022

One positive trait I acquired during the pandemic was ultra-cleanliness. I bathe lots more, and yesterday I washed my hands 19 times, not including the time I spilled sanitizer on my hairbrush. My knuckles look like walnuts...very... — Updated 6/21/2022

I often eat lunch with a group of downtown buddies. Recently we discussed our dating years. Some of these guys are currently unmarried, but not by choice. A few of them have something to offer a lady, but others might be... — Updated 5/31/2022

I’ve always been jealous of people who discover their talents early. There was this kid in my middle school class named Karen. She drew still nature scenes better than anybody. Any time the school needed pictures of flowers, vege... — Updated 5/24/2022

I’m a Baby Boomer with several Millennial friends. I don’t know if it’s because they value my wisdom, or because they find it amusing to watch me type text messages using only my index finger. Since many of us work from home... — Updated 5/10/2022

My friend Mel just got back from an uncle’s funeral, where he met family members he did not know he had. Personally, I’ve met more relatives at funerals than I have at weddings…but maybe it’s because weddings require an... — Updated 5/3/2022

Luckily, I’ve got a little home office. It’s a place I can go sleep after my morning coffee. On Monday I had lots of time on my hands, so I took an online test to gauge my maturity level. It said I was “childish, obnoxious,... — Updated 4/19/2022

The phone rings several times a day at my “office,” a place under the stairs where we used to store cleaning supplies. I equipped it with a TV tray to hold my computer, and a carboard box to house my “research materials.... — Updated 3/29/2022

Although some terrible viruses are around today, we’ve still got it better then folks who lived between the 5th and 15th centuries. Those were called the Middle Ages because surviving to 50 seemed impossible. Here’s the deal:... — Updated 3/22/2022

I’ve been reading old articles we’ve had around the house since the 1980s. I keep a file folder near my desk that holds newspaper and magazine clippings. Some days I read about things that happened last year. Sometimes I read... — Updated 3/15/2022

In elementary school, a teacher advised us to “Face the world with a smile.” I discovered that might not be the best plan. For instance, if I saw another kid get in trouble for talking, I loved it. I would laugh, the teacher wo... — Updated 3/8/2022

At lunch a few weeks ago an old friend asked, “What lessons did you learn from your school years?” Well, here are five that stuck to me like glue. What lessons did you learn? 1. Bells rule our life. The last high school bell,... — Updated 3/1/2022

At a family reunion, I went outside to play catch with a cousin. “I’d rate your baseball skills below average,” he said. “Does that surprise you?” That didn’t shock me one bit. I score below average in most sports,... — Updated 2/15/2022

At dinner, I sat next to two ladies engaged in conversation. I strained my ears to catch any possible gossip. But, they weren’t talking to each other. Each had someone else on the phone. Instead of one conversation, I was... — Updated 2/8/2022

If you’re like me, your life can be divided into two time periods…BCP (Before Cell Phones) and ARD (After Rotary Dials). Yeah, back in those ancient times a phone was stationary. It sat on a desk or hung on a wall, and you appe... — Updated 2/1/2022

One of my friends just asked me, “I’m about to move. You got any ideas for organizing the process?” Actually, I once read a book on getting organized. Unfortunately, right now it’s lost. But here are my suggestions: First,... — Updated 1/25/2022

Do you still have your high school senior ring? I’ll never forget the day our rings arrived. If somebody hadn’t locked me in a toilet stall, I’d have been first in line. Many folks have no idea what happened to their rings.... — Updated 1/18/2022

So, have you made your New Year’s Resolutions? I discovered long ago that the best resolutions require the least effort. Big plans often lead to big problems. Listen to this: Last year, my friend Lisa resolved to marry. That... — Updated 1/11/2022